Heart Risk factors

THE STAGES OF BEREAVEMENT

I have travelled the stages of bereavement a few times now. Each journey is devastating in it’s own specific way. Every experience whilst incredibly painful and heartbreaking is different. Grief is such a personal experience it cannot be any other way. My personal view is that each bereavement reflects the special relationship between you and your loved one.

I share this information with you to help you get through a challenging and life changing experience a little more easily.

Research names stages of grief and these are

Bargaining

Denial

Anger

Depression

Acceptance

These stages do not come in any order, they can repeat many times. You feel like you are on a rollercoaster, up and down, in and out. The intensity varies each time, the sequence varies. My intention is to help you understand and deal with your changing emotions. Walk through the stages with me:

The Stages of Bereavement – Bargaining

I know I felt this pre loss when it was clear that I was to lose a loved one. You think “I will do anything, just make it go away”. You offer whatever you think would make a difference. It is a form of denial, when you are just not ready to look loss in the eye.

The Stages of Bereavement – Denial

Sounds obvious, but at the time you are not aware you are held in such pain. You cannot accept the truth. Some people without help live in this place for a long time. The heartbreak is simply too much to bear

The Stages of Bereavement – Anger

I felt this very strongly once the funeral had occurred. Why? People went back to their own lives, they had marked the loss time to move on. Except I was not ready, my grief was huge, my rage had no limits. I recommend that in safe circumstances you express this anger. Suppressed emotions offer no benefits; better out than in I say. It is very beneficial to express your feelings

The Stages of Bereavement – Depression

So often changing emotions swing from one extreme to the other. In the midst of all of the emotions, feeling so beaten and so sad, it is no surprise that depression can occur. One of the best tools to manage this is talk and share with those close to you. Do not hold it in and keep your feelings inside.

The Stages of Bereavement – Acceptance

Ultimately, you find a place of acceptance. It can take a long time to truly be in this place. For many people, they recognise that the loss has happened and they manage it through acceptance. A deep loss or grief changes you, it becomes part of you. You will absorb the loss into your life and then slowly build your life so that the loss eventually becomes a smaller part of your life.

Your Grief Journey

What I can tell you from personal experience, is that you will survive, you will get through it even though you feel you won’t. You will learn from the experience and you will create a new world but there will always be a space for your memories.